Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Yesterday was a bittersweet day for my family. After several years of non complaining pain, my Grandmother went to live with the Lord. Her pain was finally relieved and her happiness was GREAT! My Grandmother lived her life to the fullest. She was a loving wife, a devoted mother, and a FANTASTIC Grandma. Her heart was big enough for 6 kids and their spouses, 15 grand kids, and 9 great-grand kids. I was always greeted at the door of her house with a huge smile and open arms.
I received a package in the mail a few weeks ago, and inside was a quilt she had made for Ryker. Even though her hands were frail and in a tremendous amount of pain, she made the most beautiful quilt for my baby. Her love and thoughtfulness were stronger than her pain.
I will miss my Grandmother's hugs, I will miss my Grandma's smile, and I will miss my Grandma's voice on the other end of the phone, BUT most of all I will miss my Grandma's love. Without words, she taught me to be kind, and loving in ALL situations. My grandmother was an amazing woman, I am proud to be her Granddaughter!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Where am I? What am I doing?

Am I coming, OR am I going? I am not sure right now. I wake up most mornings before everyone else in our house. I get ready for school, kiss my kids (and husband) goodbye, and I am off to work. Levi and I smile at each other over the coffee pot (if he is up), and quickly go our separate ways. Our schedules are so opposite, I work days, he works nights. He watches the boys while I am at work and I watch the boys while he is at work. It works out great for our kids because they have one of us there MOST of the time. As for the husband and I, well, I miss him. We both try to devote as much time to our kids as we can to make up for the hours we spend away from them. As previous math teachers, we both realized very quickly that 3 divided by 2 just does not come out perfect, there is always a remainder. We have very little time if any for each other. And yet, I feel like we have never been closer. We work so well together. Our time together is not used for fighting, but for catching up, laughing, and just being glad that we are finally in the same room together.
We have been so busy the last few weeks that I feel as though my head is spinning. I spend the day thinking, what am I supposed to do, what did I forget to do, when is that due. I miss my time at home. I miss waking up and knowing that TODAY I am going to spend it with my boys. I miss knowing that I am going to be the one that gets them dressed. I am the one that gets to hang out with them. I am the one that gets to drop them off at school. I miss KNOWING exactly what happened today because I was THERE. It has been good for Levi to spend the days with the boys. His shifts leave very little time to just be with them. His days off are so important to him and to them. I am very grateful that he can do this.
Okay, enough poor me...well one more poor me. Last weekend, we made our annual trip to the OSU TTU game. I knew I should not go, I knew it was not good. BUT I went anyway. And well, WE LOST! We ALWAYS lose when I go watch them in Stillwater. We have never won a game there as long as we have been going. I did it to myself! I want to say sorry to my RED RAIDERS! I knew and yet, I went anyway. Levi and I know that no matter what happens, one of us is going to have a very long trip home. Just so happens, IT was! (for me anyway). Guess there is always next year, man that is forever!!!!!! We have a tradition in our house, that if your team loses, you have to turn your stocking around. I guess I will do the turn of shame and turn My TTU stocking backwards this year and his OSU stocking, well, I will have to look at that darn thing ALL through Christmas. I WAS going to have a red and black Christmas tree this year, but it might clash with that Orange and Black thing hanging on our mantle. UGH

I guess I will go take a deep breath and figure out, what I am - should be doing.

OH...the boys are doing GREAT!

Hudsen has Open House Thursday and is excited to show us what he has been working on.

Story about Hudsen. I told him to go outside and play because I needed to talk to Daddy, he looked at me and said, "Why, are you pregnant!" What a kid. And NO I am not.

Gannon is speaking in sentences. He LOVES gum or num as he says! He is so happy if he has gum. He can be having the worst moment, and you give him gum and he is instantly the happiest kid in the world. Funny story about Gannon. He was eating carmel candy and kept asking me "mama, where num go? He would get another one, chew it, look very upset and say "Mama where num go?" LOVE HIM

Ryker is weighing in at 11oz. Eats all the time, sleeps through the night, and has the most adorable smile that you can see from across the room. He is trying to talk and wants nothing more than to be held by his parents.


Monday, November 2, 2009

What a Sad Sad Day

Today was the BIG day. After 9 cherished weeks at home with Ryker, I did the unthinkable,...I set the alarm clock. Punching in 6:00 am was not the greatest or most anticipated moment of my life, but I managed to get it done. (Wishful thinking, Ryker not waking up before then). Last night I rocked that poor little thing until HE could not stand it. He wanted in his bed and he wanted it NOW. So I carried him to his room and well, sat on the bed and held him some more. He finally gave in and let me hold him for a few minutes longer. You would think I was going on a trip or something. I finally put him down, walked out of the room, crying of course, and did what any sane mom would do. I went right to the bathroom, grabbed the box of hair color and dyed my hair. (A little too dark, but I think it will fade quickly).
After messing with the new hair, I decided I better try and get some sleep. I crawled into bed, and well, I had no trouble sleeping. I slept great until 4:30, yep, 4:30. What do you do, it is around 5 o'clock, the alarm goes off at you try and get that last hour of sleep KNOWING you will be more tired when you get up, OR do you just stay up and pray you aren't asleep at your desk before noon. Well, I got back in bed...almost asleep and guess who wakes up, THE BABY. I rolled over, and told the Husband that it was his turn, and I fell fast asleep, I was shocked when the alarm went off that I really did it, I fell back asleep, AMAZING!
Levi and I managed to get all 3 kids dressed, and in the car before 7:30, WE ARE AWESOME!! and I was at work by 7:35! I did it, I made it to work! I made it through the morning, I made it through the afternoon, I DID it! Now, if I can do it again. UGH!!! Good thing about the rest of the week, Levi will be home to take care of the kids. I love his days off! I am going to BED! Oh wait, what is that I hear, yep it's the BABY! Bed can and will wait!